Getting Personal

getting personal

Time for some change.
I have changed in the past year. Now, it’s time for my blog to change (and grow) with me.
It’s time for breaking taboos, focusing on positivity and sharing a little more of me.

But first, I’d like to share a story with you. It’s the most personal story I’ve shared so far, but I feel like this is the right thing to do. I also think it’s important to discuss the issues I have, since not many people seem to talk about it.

I haven’t shared much personal stories with you guys the past year, because I wasn’t ready for it. I haven’t been as inspired and dedicated as I used to be. You may have noticed my not posting as much as I used to, my not being on top of my game and not as much smiling in my selfies. Here’s why.

I’ve had a rough year.

Since around March last year, I have been dealing with a pretty heavy depression. It got to a point where I didn’t really want to get out of bed anymore, and felt terrible for months.

Depression is something that completely changes your view and reality. Literally everything becomes hard to deal with. The smallest setbacks have huge impact on someone who’s depressed. It causes a paralyzing fear, personal dissatisfaction and a feeling of despair. Me personally, I felt worthless, alone, intensely sad and helpless, even though I wasn’t. It’s like there’s a negative filter over everything you see and do. It was very hard for me to work during this time. Especially because a blog is a personal thing, and it was hard to keep up when I wasn’t inspired at all and didn’t really want to take pictures. I felt really bad because my blog is something I worked hard for and I’m really thankful for all my readers and followers, and I felt like I was letting you down.

Luckily, I’m feeling much better now. I’m not entirely there yet, but I’m a lot better than I was last year and I’m much happier again. That’s all because I’ve been working really hard on myself, trying to get the old me back and dealing with my problems. This is why my focus hasn’t really been on fashion, but my focus is on happiness. Which is why I decided to make my blog even a little more personal, and write more about happiness and making life easier. It’s much easier, and more fun for me to write about something I’m focusing on right now and is really important to me. No worries, there will still be fashion and outfit posts, but also articles about life. Because I’ve learned a lot about myself and about life, and how to be happier – and I’d love to share what I’ve learned with you guys. Whether you might need it or not.

I look forward to sharing more of what’s on my mind with you, and I hope you’ll enjoy my tips and personal experience that I’m about to share here. I much value your voice, so don’t be afraid to talk in the comment section.

Love you guys!

Tags: All, Diary

50 responses to “Getting Personal”

  1. Cris says:

    Ik dacht al dat er iets met je aan de hand was. Ik ben zelfs gestopt je te volgen op instagram omdat ik er zelf down van werd. Ik hoop oprecht dat je, je beter voelt en dat je, jezelf weer kan zijn. Ik heb hetzelfde meegemaakt en ik weet dat het leven soms zwaar kan tegenvallen. Ik denk dat het belangrijk is dat je een passie blijft houden. En als deze veranderd in een andere vorm dan alleen mode dan is dat helemaal niet erg. Je moet doen wat bij je past en waar je je goed bij voelt. Doe wat jou gelukkig maakt want dat straal je uit naar anderen, ook online, en het allerbelangrijkste, je moet er zelf gelukkig van worden. Ik wens je het allerbeste in de zoektocht naar jezelf. Xxx

    • Lucy says:

      Hi Cris. Dankjewel voor je lieve woorden! Ik ben er zelf inderdaad ook achtergekomen dat het heel belangrijk is om te doen waar ik me goed bij voel. Vervelend om te horen dat je hetzelfde hebt meegemaakt, ik hoop dat je er sterker uitgekomen bent. Ik ga binnenkort wat dingen delen die mij geholpen hebben, mocht je je eigen tips willen delen dan zijn die altijd welkom! Liefs

  2. Madeleine says:

    Depression is the worst! The bad emotions just spiral and build each other up and it feels like it’s impossible to break the cycle. So good on you for doing that – working through the depression and getting better and now sharing this here. I’m just one of many readers but you certainly haven’t let me down! Can’t wait follow your journey onwards. All the love, M

  3. A says:

    Lucy, thank you for being brave enough to share this with us. You don’t ‘need to’, and that’s why it’s admirable. I’m glad you’re feeling better, and that you feel like sharing more of yourself on here. I hope we do you the justice of being kind, outfit posts or not.

    Lots of good vibes, from a long time reader.

  4. Paulien says:

    Hoi Lu, vervelend om te lezen dat het zo slecht met je ging. Vind het wel superknap van je dat je dit deelt en ik hoop dat je je straks weer helemaal de oude voelt, dat verdien je namelijk absoluut!

    Kus Paulien

  5. Donna says:

    I love that you have shared this Lucy. It’s something that so many of us have gone through and having the courage to share it with us makes us all feel a little more normal. I struggled for months last year and completely lost passion in almost everything I do. I recently made the decision via my blog to remove myself from what didn’t feel right anymore and concentrate more on life experiences and the things that make us who we are. I’m looking forward to reading lots more from you. You go girl! D xxx

  6. KP says:

    Lucy, what a brave thing to share. A someone who has struggled with serious depression pretty much since being a child, I know it’s nothing to be taken lightly. Always remember that just as with any other illness, treatment makes all the difference. It is nothing to be ashamed of, just like having any other illness is nothing to be ashamed of. If more people are honest and open about having this disease, it will make things better for all. So glad to hear you are feeling better. Don’t ever feel ashamed to ask for help. The most important thing is that you are feeling healthy!

    • Lucy says:

      Hi Kirstie,
      That’s exactly what I thought, I hope more and more people will see that it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
      Thanks for your support!

  7. Laura says:

    Hey Lucy, I am so happy to hear you are feeling so much better. You must know you are not the only one dealing with this, but a high percentage of people do, so don’t feel like if you are alone in this or a unique case. It’s really admirable that you decided to share your rough experience and not only are you brave, but very strong. Some of the most creative and greatest human beings have dealt with depression and have made a big change in the world, so never feel discouraged by a merely chemical imbalance in your organism.
    Be strong and carry on, you’ve always been a great blogger, and I’m sure you are going to continue doing great things, so hang on in there. Listen hard to your heart and let your passion for fashion and blogging take control and let being occupied with it be a therapy.
    Wishign you all the best and send you a big hug! x

  8. Simone says:

    Thanks so much for sharing this with us! There are so many dealing with similar problems, but the stigma still stops us from talking about it. I hope people will take you as an example in this as well, besides the example you provide in fashion :)

  9. Christine says:

    Hoi Lucy, ik heb nooit echt iets gemerkt aan je op je foto’s hoor en ik volg je al een hele tijd inmiddels! Maar ik herken je verhaal wel heel erg en leef met je mee. Ik hoop dat het je helpt om je verhalen hier te delen en dat je je hierdoor misschien nog wat sneller weer je normale zelft voelt. X Christine

  10. Mónica says:

    You’re very brave to share this story with all of us!! I understand why is so strangely difficult and also how to focus on here on the things that actually motivate you. Lots of love xx

  11. CT says:

    You are one tough chick?

  12. Amy says:

    I usually don’t comment, but I really want to thank you for this post. It is not easy to talk about this issue and by doing that I think you are so brave! I personally like the idea of changing the blog, changes are good! Lots of light and love for you

  13. Floor says:

    Rock on Lucy, thank you for sharing and breaking the silence on this topic. Wishing you well and all the best. Take care xx

  14. Lauren says:

    Wow Lucy, wat een rot tijd heb jij achter de rug. Een depressie is hartstikke heftig, super bijzonder dat je er zo over schrijft, gewoon blijven doen wat nu goed voelt. Genieten van de kleine dingen en je eigen ding doen.

    Stoer. You rock.
    Liefs, Lauren

  15. Esmee says:

    Heel veel sterkte! Knap dat je jezelf weer naar boven hebt getrokken. En het is jóúw blog wat jou inspireert dus het maakt niet uit als het iets veranderd! Het blijft jouw stijl en die is hartstikke cool. Hopelijk snel weer wat updates die heb ik idd gemist :D succes! Xxx

  16. Theresa says:

    It takes a lot to share our personal problems in a public platform, and I think it’s incredibly brave of you to do so. My heart goes out to you for all that you’ve been through with your depression, and I wish you all the best as you continue to heal. You aren’t letting anyone down at all babe. Taking time for yourself is what’s truly important, and I’m glad that you’re doing that and focusing on your personal happiness. Thank you for sharing your story with us Lucy. I’m sending an abundance of well wishes your way. Take care beautiful.


    • Lucy says:

      Hi Theresa,
      So good to hear from you. Thank you for the support and your wishes.
      Means a lot to me, really.

  17. px says:

    a supporter from HK who keeps coming back to check out your blog!
    don’t over think and plan your every moment!

  18. A big hug Lucy. My mother has been dealing with depression after my father’s death, she didn’t move from her room for years, so I can totally understand you. The positive thing is that fortunately it can have and end and there comes a day when you are ready to face the world again. I also had a difficult 2015 and took time to think about myself. I’m looking forward to your new more personal posts and I’m happy that you feel better now.

    • Lucy says:

      Hi Erica,

      Thank you so much for your support.
      I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had a difficult year. I hope you feel better now!
      I still read your blog and it’s still one of the most inspiring blogs to me.


  19. Lennie says:

    I’ve been a longtime reader of your blog and have found your style and personal aesthetic inspirational; now, I’m so happy that I and other readers get to be inspired by your courage. I spent many years struggling with depression, feeling incapable of voicing why and what it was exactly that was making me feel so tired, sluggish, sad, hopeless, unmotivated to take control of my life, and the feelings of worthlessness that ensued, what felt like a never-ending cycle. One thing that truly helped me, and I highly suggest it to you, was learning about my astrological signs, the science of the zodiac, and energy work. I know it sounds kooky, but connecting with your signs and understanding your characteristics and traits based on the simple fact of your birth can make you feel less like a woman standing alone in the dark, and more like a woman who is a crucial part of an ancient, beautiful world. Here’s the link to figuring out your birth chart ( Take the time to read the whole thing, not just your sun sign but your rising and moon signs too. I wish you all the best in moving this blog towards this more personal, focused time in your life, and I can’t wait to read it. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

    • Lucy says:

      Hi Lennie,

      So good to hear from a longtime reader!
      Thank you so much for sharing what works for you. I think it’s important to discuss such a big thing as depression and it’s great if people share what worked for them. Feels really good to have your support. I’m definitely checking out my birth chart!

  20. Sofia says:

    I’ve never commented before but now I simply had to: thank you for sharing! There are so many people going through similar issues and I’m sure you being honest about your problems will help a lot of people! I’m very glad that you are doing better. Don’t feel any pressure about the blog, this is your space to do with as you please.
    All the best.

    • Lucy says:

      Hi Sofia, thank you so much for your kind words! Feels great to have support from readers! xx

  21. Aga says:

    You’re a strong and brave woman, it means a lot that you’ve decided to share your recent experiences. Always remember that you’re not alone, that there are always people you can lean on. I hope you’re getting well and much more stronger than before.

  22. Asia says:

    I often read your blog but rarely comment but this time I wanted to say what a brave person you are and also thank you for being one of the most honest bloggers I have ever seen. It feels actually really refreshing that you share your life in a way that it really is without being obsessive about having ‘instagram-ready-perfect-life’. I’m sure that breaking a taboo will help many people in dealing with their problems. Thank you for sharing. Wish you all the best .

    • Lucy says:

      Hi Asia,
      Thank you for commenting! I really appreciate that you see my as an honest blogger, because that’s exactly what I’m trying to be!
      Thank you for your kind words :)

  23. Xandra says:

    dearest Lucy, I (your auntie), am very proud of you and wish you, as allways, lots of courage, inspiration and love.

  24. 24nourish says:

    Ik had al het gevoel dat er ‘iets’ was. Ik volgde je al jaren, maar afgelopen jaar heb ik je niet meer gevolgd omdat ik gewoon die sparkle mistte, die je daarvoor had. Ik vind het dapper dat je er nu iets over schrijft, zeker omdat je altijd vrij gesloten bent geweest over jezelf en je je blog altijd als een soort masker hebt gehouden – wat overigens niet verkeerd hoeft te zijn he. Dit was gewoon jouw manier van bloggen. Ik ben benieuwd naar je nieuwe invulling van je blog. Sterkte meis en stapje voor stapje krabbel je wel weer op. Maar dat kost tijd en gaat met vallen en opstaan. Ik weet er alles van ;)

    • Lucy says:

      Hi 24nourish,
      Ik snap je helemaal. Heel eerlijk gezegd weet ik ook niet of ik mezelf was blijven volgen, wat best moeilijk is om toe te geven. Dankjewel voor je lieve woorden, ik hoop je hier weer af en toe terug te zien!

  25. Frederique says:

    Hej lieverd,
    Zag dat ik hier nog geen steuntje in de rug had achtergelaten, dus dat wil ik graag bij deze nog even doen. Wat ontzettend dapper dat je dit met ons deelt. Ik ben blij te horen dat het inmiddels beter gaat, ookal ben je er waarschijnlijk nog niet. Een depressie laat je niet zomaar achter je, helaas ben ik zelf ook ervaringsdeskundige. :( Je blijft er naar alle waarschijnlijkheid ook nog wel gevoelig voor in de toekomst, maar je zult ongetwijfeld inmiddels eerder de signalen bij jezelf kunnen ontdekken en op de hoogte zijn van persoonlijke triggers. Keep on going lieverd! We moeten eigenlijk nog eens een theetje doen als ik weer eens in Arnhem ben. :)

  26. Isabelle says:

    “Do what you love”, they say – so it sounds like you’re taking the right turn. I hope these changes make you feel better! Thanks for sharing..

  27. Valancia says:

    Hoi Lucy,

    Deze blogpost raakte mij enorm! Door mijn werk geraakte ik vorig jaar in een soortgelijke situatie. Gelukkig wiste ik meteen waardoor ik depressief was en wist ik wat te doen om eruit te geraken.
    Ik vind het heel dapper van je dat je dit durfde te delen. Dit is het eerste wat ik van je blog lees of zie en om op deze manier voorgesteld te worden aan je blog vond ik prachtig. Ik ben blij dat het beter met je gaat. Neem je tijd & focus je op je gezondheid & geluk and all the rest will fall into place.

    Alot of virtual hugs to you!

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